Today marks four years since I have been able to call NJ my own.
Of course, we’ve known each other a lot longer than that; almost ten years now. It still amazes me that we ever met at all.
I had decided on a fluke one morning to peruse through some web-rings (do you remember those?) devoted to fiction websites, and clicked on one of several hundred. I made an account, the moniker ‘Raijuken’ and posted that I was a man (women used to be treated so much more differently online). There was a little shoutbox, I made my introductions and then carried on as usual. The next day, a little PM was waiting for me from someone named ‘Edan’ and the rest is history.
We knew each other for several months before we ever admitted we were both women. But after that, we were inseparable. A day didn’t feel complete unless we had talked to each other for two hours or more, and yes, at times, it bordered on obsessive, but I really couldn’t help it. By the way, NJ lived in Canada, and I lived in California, so the idea that we would ever meet face-to-face seemed unrealistic.
I got the chance to meet NJ in person, though, when she was going to a con down in LA. We spent a couple of days in a hotel near my house. At first, it was really awkward. After three years of typing to each other, using emoticons and email, we both were having trouble just speaking or showing facial expressions. We laughed, when we began to notice how much our fingers were twitching while we talked to each other. We met again when she flew down to California to come to my graduation from junior college.
There had been suspicions, in both of our families, that we were more than friends, but we always ignored it. Crushes? No way! After all, NJ liked men, and while I knew (and know) I am a bisexual, she was taken. The catalyst came about when I started dating in college. Things suddenly changed, rapidly, between us. I was seriously worried I was going to lose her friendship, and the more we talked, the more I realized that I couldn’t live the life I knew without her–that is love, isn’t it? We decided to give it a shot, long distance or no.
I flew up to Canada that Christmas to see her, and we shared our first kiss on a grassy hill overlooking the Vancouver skyline. It felt right. I felt, and still feel, best when I’m at her side.
We’re now at four years. Four years! And two thirds of that time has been spent living together in Kyoto, making a life for ourselves and dreaming about a future of writing and owning a house together. I love her more and more by the day, and can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. So, for today, I plan to reflect on that, have a nice dinner together, and let her know how much she means to me.